Saturday, July 28, 2012

Conquering FEAR- head games

Not sure why, but sometimes I am just a wuss. I really should race more often, but I don't. I have lots of excuses good reasons!
money
time
family obligations
wanting to be prepared
the need for a perfect course (preferably flat and certified)
If I am going to race and it's going on my record, it better leave a good mark.

Today I stepped out of my comfort zone and raced. It wasn't totally on a whim; it had been in the back of my mind for a few weeks...
if I was healed
if the money was there
if the hubby was OK with it
if I felt like it on race morning

In the car on the way there, I thought to myself
"What am I DOING?"
"Why am I racing? Is this NUTS? I am asking for injury."
And, "I might feel bad about my race afterwards and beat myself up."

But then I thought,
"What do I have to lose?"
"Maybe no one will show up."
"I can always register under a pseudonym..."
And another idea came "Maybe it won't be embarassing"Then finally, "Maybe I will do better than I expect."

It feels good to race. It feels GOOD to do your best, even if it is not your best ever. It is FUN to be with other runners, doing what they love, with support. It feels incredible to use a gift God gave me.

I am ready for more. Let the season begin!

15 comments:

  1. Great job conquering your fear today! :)

    It's posts like this that make me kind of happy to be such a mediocre, unambitious runner because I can be happy just to be out there without worrying about my results. That said, reading your posts always inspires me to want to be better, and maybe one of these days that inspiration will kick into action. :)

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    1. I appreciate your words so much Kate. I don't think it's about mediocrity or not being mediocre..there are plenty of people at a much higher level than me. It's about self imposed pressure. Maybe you are better at just relaxing and letting things come as they do.

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    2. Yeah, for the most part I'm pretty good at being relaxed about things. And when I am bothered by my results, I have to remind myself that I haven't put in the work to expect differently...which is where your self-imposed pressure probably comes from. You HAVE put in the work.

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    3. Well, actually, I don't feel like I did put in the work this time..unless you count being very patient as being work. Which...I guess IS work- in a way. :)

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  2. Glad you had fun racing today! Hopefully you are still smiling about it and feeling alive.

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  3. Yay Raina! You rock. Love it! Congrats. :)

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  4. I go through spurts of loving to race and doing all I can and then not wanting anything to do with it for awhile. Having fun is an important aspect and I'm so happy you had a great day. Very excited to see what the season brings you; I know it's going to be a great one! :)

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  5. Yes! Awesome post... way to get out there and just do it!

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  6. Each race teaches a runner some new lessons. Glad you had fun!

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  7. I'm glad I found your blog and great job stepping out of your comfort zone and racing. That is my biggest problem sometimes too, I feel-what if I race and fail miserably? Obviously I could be passing up a chance to do awesome though.

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    1. It is easier for me to race with low expectations sometimes. This was one of those times...Glad you found my blog Hollie. I found yours too :)

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  8. It's awesome that you conquered your fear. I find it hard to sign up for a race when I think that I won't get the best time because I don't want to "ruin" my past times. Maybe I should just try racing to do my best even if it's not a PR.

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  9. Congrats girl!! Well put. I understand this completely!

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  10. Your self-talk made me laugh cause I do that all the time!
    I'm glad you conquered a fear:))

    Barbara
    My Running Shortz

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